the real slim shady

im just a girl who thinks shes funnier than she really is and has no idea what to do when she grows up even though shes kind of already grown up so fuck her life right


i swear to god

i swer ta gawd

i sweater gad


me: watches your snapchat story
me: doesn’t reply to your text

  • teacher: alright fold your papers in half
  • entire class: hot dog or hamburger


Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?

(via lesprisenpati)


i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean

(via liftinpints)