the real slim shady

im just a girl who thinks shes funnier than she really is and has no idea what to do when she grows up even though shes kind of already grown up so fuck her life right

heck-hath-no-fury:

ktisr:

my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”

for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half

(Source: kuzei, via radioactiveheroin)

A list of A+ insults

poryqon:

if u R ever in an argument use these insults and u will make the other person cry bc there R so good

  • half eaten sandwich
  • useless fungal infection
  • literal turd burger
  • Netflix® buffer
  • 2003 fergie
  • 5th president James Monroe
  • half chewed pencil
  • The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania
  • absolute white crayon
  • quiet meme thief
  • TI-84 plus Silver Edition™ Calculator by Texas Instruments®
  • diarrhea apocalypse

(via soulsistalesbo)


this is prob the best line in cinematic history idec

this is prob the best line in cinematic history idec

(via forever90s)